Wednesday, October 7, 2009 LOST THE BATTLE living a life of regret now. i should have cherished her. should have taken care of her. -when i met you, i did not care about what u looked like or what people said. -pimples? WHO CARES! i believe that it can be healed. -too young? calling me a pidofile? fuck off. i love her and its none of your business. -when we were together. -god blessed me with the best girl i could ever have. -never have i thought that i would be so happy. -having you in my arms in a tight hug fitted perfectly. -Full of effort, blood, sweat and tears i have put into the relationship to make her happy. -like a road there is bound to be potholes or bumps. -we argued from time to time. -i took those big and small arguments as learning points of each other. -going out, watching movies, shopping, were her favourite. -so what if i didnt like to go for some. -i would enjoy her company. -i would give me free time to her. -make sure shes not alone. -to school, to meet her friends, to somewhere. -share experiences together -holding your hand was really beautiful. -who cares if its .. or ... i would just hold it. because its hers. -so what if she was embarrased about something she did. -i would still love her -promises i made. -i will keep my word. -if i have to wait. -i would wait -as it is coming to an end -i didnt know it would be such a hit. -thought a special 27 could be spent enjoying the whole day together. -watching a sunrise -have a nice breakfast picnic -go shopping -catch a movie -going to the Formula 1 night race -as a couple. -preperations and lies. -i made to my parents -bought the ticket for her. -so excited. -never felt that i could not be holding her on that day. -never thought i would not be together with her on that day. -how careless of me. -to let the most happiest blessing of mine fall away from me. -it would not be able to be back to the way things were before. -waking up early and seeing her beautiful face in the morning makes my day. -seeing her off to school. -picking her from school. -having fun together after school. -are all memories now. -sweet memories. -i will keep with me as the bridge from me to her heart. -still loving her. -promises still kept in my heart. reading through letters she wrote to me. found a little card that was attatched on the 1st birthday present she has ever given to me reading it dropped my heart even further deeper into my stomach. i can feel the love she put into that little message and its the closest thing to me now to remind me of us. girl.. i am sorry... this wouldnt have happened if i realised it earlier... now placing you into so much stress and stuck between 2 giant walls i am the stupid one. i am at fault. but it is too late.. not for her.. but for me.. that one last chance she gave me exploded into smitherins on 080909 love her still.
